Cast your eyes port-side and you’ll see a new section in the sidebar called “Photos.” The blog’s recent migration to WordPress (did I mention I switched to WordPress?…yeah, Blogger kinda’ sucks…) allows for all sorts of nifty plugins and other features, and gives me much more control over my content. I’ve added a plugin that allows me to pull pictures in from my Flickr account. It’s quite amazing, actually.
This picture is part of the initial picture upload explosion, which consists of photos taken the weekend before last, when Melissa and I went to Iowa City for the weekend. Much fun was had by all! Click the pic, or any of the little pics over in the sidebar, and you’ll get taken to the new photo album!
On Monday, I took The LeMousine for his last ride. The hassle of trying to sell him would have been more trouble than it was worth, so I decided to sell him to a salvage yard for whatever they would give me…which turned out to be a whopping $50.
The yard is called Sunset Beach. It’s situated by a little lake, and has a donkey that wanders around the premises. It’s almost as if I took my car to a nice little automobile retirement village, where he can be with other cars and have a lake and animals to play with. Which, strangely enough, actually made me feel a little better about having to get rid of my first car. Well, to be accurate, The LeMousine was technically my third car, but he was the first car that was actually mine; that I actually owned and was responsible for.
The LeMousine and I traveled a lot of miles together, through a lot of “interesting times”…as the old Chinese curse goes. He was the Timex of cars; he took many a licking (three accidents and three break-ins), but kept on ticking. He was a work-horse and a pack-mule. He moved my earthly possessions more times than I can recall, all of which had their pre-designated spot in the back seat or the trunk. Iowa to Savannah to Iowa to Savannah to Dallas and then back home again…with countless stops along the way.
He was a good little car. He lived a good, well-traveled life. He ran and ran and ran and made it to the gas station every time, even with his Empty light blaring. He knew that we’d stop at Williamsburg, or the Iowa 80 Truck Stop. His turning radius was beyond compare. He could parallel park into spaces that others considered to be madness. He bumped down quiet cobblestone streets, and fought the insanity of Dallas.
He was a good little car, but even good little cars can’t do without clutches and CV boots, and can only go so far on a cupped tire. So now The LeMousine gets to rest, and turn into the Legend that all good little cars hope to be.
The LeMousine, car of myth and adventure… of legend and lore… is dying.
The first signs came on Saturday, when the cruise control suddenly stopped working, followed by the abrupt malfunction of the dashboard and brake lights two days later. Today, I took him in to the Toyota dealer, and found out that:
An electrical connection in one of the lights has degraded to the point that two connectors are touching that normally aren’t supposed to, causing several fuses to blow. Hence the malfunctioning dashboard and brake lights.
One of the rear tires is “badly cupped” and needs to be replaced.
New spark plugs are needed.
The CV boots on the front axle are leaking, which, if left untreated, can lead to axle failure.
A power steering hose is leaking.
The clutch could go at any moment, which was causing the engine to over-rev (is that a word?) and was preventing the operation of the cruise control.
The final tally put the repair bill at a level higher than the value of the car itself… so arrangements are currently being made for LeMousine’s replacement. More as the situation develops…
I have arrived at a target date of “January-ish” for getting my own place here in Des Moines. How “ish” the date turns out to be remains to be seen, but I have decided on a course of action that will hopefully expedite things a good bit…or, if nothing else, at least coddle me with the illusion that I am accomplishing something. First things first, though: Today, I got me some newtools…through entirely legitimate and law-abiding means, of course. Portfolio updates coming soon…
Curse my mortal body and its need for human sleep…I could get so much done otherwise. I am excited and eager to transform and roll out now that I have an idea…
On a totally unrelated note, Sam & Max are back to love me in that special way they do. In turn, I love them as fully and completely as a man can love a fictional dog and rabbit…which, if you didn’t know, is quite a large bit.
*yawns*
…alright, dammit, you win again, brain. You always do. I will give you your precious sleep, in return for certain…favors…to be redeemed later at a time of my choosing…
This example refers to the Western Digital MyBook Premium 400GB External Hard Drive, but these steps can be applied to any expensive, highly-important piece of electronic equipment.
Step One: Have the cooling fan begin to make horrible, unnatural grinding sounds. This can be accomplished simply by using the drive in a normal, everyday manner. If the fan continues to function normally after two months of use, check that you have not, in fact, inadvertently purchased a grandfather clock or a small, wooden stool.
Step Two: In order to remedy what is surely a simple case of misaligned parts, or a piece of foreign debris, apply firm external “repair force” to the top and sides of the plastic casing, using the palm of your hand or, in severe circumstances, a balled up fist. Once the fan noise stops, discontinue repair and enjoy your now silent cooling fan for a period ranging anywhere from one to 15 minutes, at which point you can expect the noise to begin again–this time more vigorously, and with more inherent spite. Repeat for a period of at least two weeks.
Step Three: Decide that incessant screeching noises–not dissimilar to the death throes of an asthmatic howler monkey–are not conducive to enjoying the robust, full-bodied day you were promised by your coffee earlier.
Step Four: In a fit of annoyance and temporary insanity, attempt to gain access to the fan inside. An instructional video is available for this step entitled “Cast Away,” starring Tom Hanks. In the film, Mr. Hanks demonstrates a similar procedure involving a coconut.
Step Five: Once you have removed the outer casing (having ignored several instances of the sound of cracking plastic), you will see the cooling fan. You will also notice that the fan is connected to a very intimidating-looking circuit board, and that the connection is, of course, inaccessibly tucked in amongst what are obviously very, very important (and very easily bent) thingers and doohickeys that poke out in all directions from the board.
Step Six: Begin removing a series of very tiny, very losable screws, thereby releasing the circuit board, the hard drive, and a vital-looking metal brace of some sort–all of which will cascade out onto the table in no discernible pattern. You should now be able to unplug the cooling fan connector from the circuit board.
Step Seven: Having succeeded, instead, in tearing the wires from the connector, leaving the connector firmly attached to the circuit board, you have now, technically, removed the fan! With any luck, that connector won’t short circuit, and hopefully the entire drive won’t overheat without the fan!
Congratulations! You have just toyed around, willy-nilly, with sensitive, expensive electronic circuitry, and have created a potential fire hazard! Enjoy your newly quiet hard drive!
As we approach the upcoming November mid-term elections this year, one question weighs heavily in the air: Will there be a shift in the balance of power? Will voters finally realize that the current party in power is corrupt, incompetent…perhaps even dangerous? And, ultimately, will they vote accordingly?I hope so. I hope that we, as a nation, can finally stand up and say “enough is enough!” I urge you to join me this Fall, and cast your vote for change! Cast your vote for a new future!
Cast your vote… for Chris Christmas Rodriguez to replace Santa this year!
For more information, please visit the Chris Christmas Rodriguez video archive.
And, lo, as if by magic, the archives grow fat and bountiful. More to the point: I have copied all of my previous blog entries from days of yore, and consolidated them into one cohesive tome. A lot of what you may find squirreled away in there contains references to people, places, and things… nouns, if you will… that no longer pertain to modern day, but are none-the-less significant in their own right. Tread with caution.
As an added bonus, I will be, at some point, adding entries from the “Storytime” section of the old, old Polished Scrawl site. “Storytime” was a sort of proto-Blog, before the term “blog” was coined on the Intertubes. One “Storytime” entry from January 2003 has already been added, with more to follow once I can retrieve them from their hidey-hole, and translate the ancient Númenórean script in which they are written.
