Polished Scrawl Productions: The Blog

I wish I had more news to report, Internets. Unfortunately, I have come upon a period of fierce languidity, instigated by my severe lack of computer power. I have felt a small, wispy cloud of neurotic floating around in my brain ever since I sent my laptop to Kansas to be repaired. It’s a little disquieting how dependent I am on such a tenuously reliable machine. It sucks that I find myself at what amounts to a grinding halt without it. There is a sizeable pile of things that need to be resolved, and the only tool for the job is “waiting on a part.”

This sort of reliance on a computer can’t be good. It is exactly this sort of thing that will bring about our eventual Terminator and/or Matrix apocalyptic future. Something must be done about this before it’s too late!

But, man…I really hope they can fix it by this weekend.

In other news, here is what I would look like, were I an M&M:

It’s all very scientific, with various sliders and color swatches and dismembered body parts. The end result is nothing short of delicious…in a creepy, self-consumptory way. Click here to create your own candy-shelled, chocolate-filled doppelgänger!

Penfold is off being repaired again - - for the same, evidently not-uncommon, problem as last time - - after only five months. I spent, quite literally, all day Friday on the phone with Toshiba, trying to convince them that they shouldn’t get another $550 to re-repair my computer. Or, more accurately, I spent most of the day on hold to Toshiba’s “Customer Service” line, which I am instead going to refer to as their “Call Us and Listen to Muzak for 45 Minutes and then We Hang Up on You. Repeat Ad Infinitum” line.

Eventually, I was able to battle my way through a series of lowly tech support rajas until I was finally able to get someone to shirk the established status quo at the “Call Us and Listen to Muzak for 45 Minutes and then We Hang Up on You. Repeat Ad Infinitum” line, and actually (for the love of Merry Good King Wenceslaus!!) answer the freaking phone. This person agreed to extend to me a “one-time exception” to my long-since-expired warranty, allowing me to have Penfold repaired for free - - but the question remains: will the same thing happen yet again after another short period of time? If it does, I sure as sugar had better get another “one-time exception.” Of course, I’m sure I’ll have to trudge through another unending expanse of muzak wasteland in order to even come close…

Toshiba, you officially suck.

First off, let me just say one thing:

I predicted this would happen years ago. It was inevitable. I knew without a doubt that this would eventually come to pass. The only thing missing is that I didn’t write it into a cryptic, unnerving quatrain. Now, having said that…

Apple announced the iPhone today: an iPod/cell phone/web browser/email/messenger/probably-a-time-machine hybrid, touchscreen device that will begin selling in June.

This thing is quite possibly the swankiest piece of technology I have ever seen…and I shall have it as my own.